Our search for connection with loved ones who have departed seems to be a deep need within many people. The loss, the longing and sadness, the sense of insecurity that death brings is often overwhelming. Good friends, counselors, religious leaders can offer empathy as well as words of comfort and wisdom. But in the end, everyone needs to find their own path to comfort and closure, healing and renewal.
These next two essays are lovely examples of a healing in each woman’s life, a healing and comfort that came in the form of a dream after a loved one passed.
The Voice of Awakening by Louise
His presence arrived in the middle of the night as I lay sleeping. His radiance was that of the sun and from his presence a love and tenderness pulsated, a love and tenderness that I had never experienced when he was alive
Without a hint of anger, without a touch of reprimand, with only a goodness and concern for my well-being, he said: “I know you are still blaming me for my weaknesses and faults when I was alive. But only once more, can you use me as an excuse for not changing your life and becoming whole. After that, you must take responsibility for how you want to live in order to be whole. I can no longer be your excuse. You must move beyond what I couldn’t do on earth. ”
He said it with such gentleness and love that I felt only gratitude that he came to me to help me awaken. My soul connection to my father changed from that day forward.
I began to accept that though in human form, he was flawed, in spirit form he was whole; though in human form he was emotionally distant and narcissistic, in spirit form he was love and compassion, and cared for me deeply. And most importantly, I realized that what he said was true.
After his passing when I was well into adulthood, I found myself still making excuses for having lived with a narcissistic father. My relationship with males was not healthy: the male was more important than the female; his needs outweighed mine; strong males don’t share emotions or weakness; a male does not provide emotional support; my emotional needs really don’t matter. For many years, that thinking guided my life to the detriment of my personal relationships.
But when my dad’s spirit came into my dream, I realized that if I wanted to become whole, now was the time to forgive him as well as myself. Now was the time to transform my thoughts and feelings about myself and my relationships.
The Voice of Comfort by Lori
I was 42 when my mom died of a brain tumor. She wasn’t particularly religious or spiritual, and though we loved one another, we hadn’t always been close. However, after her funeral, I began to feel anxious and became more anxious as the weeks and months passed.
I began to worry about her soul. If she didn’t really believe in a higher power or life after death, what would happen to her? Would she somehow be a lost soul? The feeling persisted, until she came to me, not in one dream, but three dreams, three nights in a row.
In the dream, she was somewhat younger, but I knew Mom’s Spirit.
She gently and lovingly told me that she was fine, that everything was OK and that I too would be OK. She simply repeated those words to me, over and over. And then on the third night, after again reassuring me that all was well with her Soul and mine, she said that she could not come to me anymore. She had other work to do and that I could let go of my anxiety. When I awoke the day after that third dream, I found myself calm and content once again.
Perhaps Mom knew that I wouldn’t have believed her spirit actually came to me if she had visited only one night. I would have doubted the experience, doubted that the dream was real. But those three nights in a row convinced me that I could trust that her death was only a transition and that no matter what we believe while on earth, our eternal souls continue their work.
For both Louise and Lori, their parent was gone from this earth, but they knew that the soul of their loved one still existed. Perhaps this belief makes all the difference. If we believe that our soul’s life begins and ends with our birth and death on this planet, it is difficult to believe that Spirit speaks to us through dreams. As a result, it is easy to dismiss them.
But if we believe that souls merely transition to another realm and that communication between realms is possible, souls may in fact have many ways of communicating with one another. And through that communication, we can heal and find peace and comfort on our life journey.
And so I invite you:
Sit with or journal about your beliefs around death. Allow whatever you feel to surface, be it fear, anxiety, peace . . .
Ask yourself where that belief came from . . . an experience in childhood, a recent death of someone you loved . . . Whatever you feel, and wherever the feeling originated, allow yourself to sit with it.
Now bring into your heart a loved one who has passed. Allow yourself to feel the grief of their passing. Don’t ask or expect anything from them. Just open your heart to their love and warmth. Know that no matter who they were in life, they are now whole and surrounded by love and healing.